Keep bending the twig

About a year ago I was really discouraged with the results of trying to train Orion to have self control and stay composed when he didn't get his way. It seemed that no matter how consistent or firm I was, there was no improvement. I asked Janice (a woman I really respect when it comes to parenting) and she just looked at me with knowing eyes and said, "Hope, you're doing a great job. Just keep bending the twig." Honestly, that buoyed my spirits so much. I wasn't doing anything wrong. I just needed to stay faithful. I had the expectation that it was supposed to be like potty training or something. Give it a week of consistent rewards/consequences and "this too shall pass". After she said to "keep bending the twig" I was reminded of some trees I saw at the Gilroy Gardens Family Theme Park with my mom when Omega was just a year old.

Here are some powerful quotes that I believe should instruct and encourage every parent.

Many parents forget their accountability to God to so educate their children for usefulness and duty that they will be a blessing to themselves and to others. Children are often indulged from their babyhood, and wrong habits become fixed. The parents have been bending the sapling. By their course of training, the character develops, either into deformity or into symmetry and beauty. But while many err upon the side of indulgence, others go to the opposite extreme and rule their children with a rod of iron. Neither of these follow out the Bible directions, but both are doing a fearful work. They are molding the minds of their children and must render an account in the day of God for the manner in which they have done this. Eternity will reveal the results of the work done in this life. "As the twig is bent, the tree's inclined."  {4T 368.3}

A woe rests upon parents who have not trained their children to be God-fearing, but have allowed them to grow to manhood and womanhood undisciplined and uncontrolled. During their own childhood they were allowed to manifest passion and willfulness and to act from impulse, and they bring this same spirit into their own homes. They are defective in temper, and passionate in government. Even in their acceptance of Christ they have not overcome the passions that were allowed to rule in their childish hearts. They carry the results of their early training through their entire religious life. It is a most difficult thing to remove the impress thus made upon the plant of the Lord; for as the twig is bent, the tree is inclined. If such parents accept the truth, they have a hard battle to fight. They may be transformed in character, but the whole of their religious experience is affected by the lax discipline exercised over them in their early lives. And their children have to suffer because of their defective training; for they stamp their faults upon them to the third and fourth generation.  {CG 275.1} 

Every act of the parents tells on the future of the children. In devoting time and money to the outward adorning and the gratification of perverted appetite, they are cultivating vanity, selfishness, and lust in the children. Mothers complain of being so burdened with care and labor that they cannot take time patiently to instruct their little ones, and to sympathize with them in their disappointments and trials. Young hearts yearn for sympathy and tenderness, and if they do not obtain it from their parents, they will seek it from sources that may endanger both mind and morals. I have heard mothers refuse their children some innocent pleasure, for lack of time and thought, while their busy fingers and weary eyes were diligently engaged on some useless piece of adorning, something which could only serve to encourage vanity and extravagance in the children. "As the twig is bent, the tree is inclined." As the children approach manhood and womanhood, these lessons bear fruit in pride and moral worthlessness. The parents deplore the children's faults, but are blind to the fact that they are but reaping the crop from seed of their own planting.  {CE 169.1}

The reason why the youth of the present age are not more religiously inclined is because of the defect in their education. It is not true love exercised toward children which permits in them the indulgence of passion, or allows disobedience of parental laws to go unpunished. "Just as the twig is bent the tree is inclined." The mother should ever have the co-operation of the father in her efforts to lay the foundation of a good Christian character in her children. A doting father should not close his eyes to the faults of his children because it is not pleasant to administer correction. You both need to arouse and with firmness, not in a harsh manner, but with determined purpose, let your children know they must obey you.  {1T 546.2} 

I've discovered that pregnancy was a breeze and parenting infants was easy (for me at least). I thought I was the "model parent". My kids always slept well, ate well, and giggled and smiled when I would look at them. Then came the toddler years. Parenting toddlers was pretty challenging. Ages two and three take a lot of prayer and humility (especially two toddlers at once!). Temper tantrums and testing boundaries characterized many days. Whew. That's when I started feeling that I was the worst mom in the world. But, I diligently bent the twigs. Every day I recognized that being a mother was one of the highest callings a person could have. It was one of the most sobering responsibilities too. I felt like I had to consume parenting books constantly to know how to train my saplings. Now that Orion is 4 and Omega is turning 6 I feel like some days I just "coast". There are challenges to be sure, but the boundaries are erected. The expectations are clear. It's more like maintenance at this point, keeping them going in the direction with the momentum that has been established. I like the direction my kids are headed. I'm proud of them. They are turning into fine "trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord." (Isaiah 61:3)

Here are my growing sapplings....

Speaking of trees - here's a picture of our budding Pink Lady Apple tree