Better than the mighty

Something HUGE just happened. Something noteworthy. I almost want to throw a party and celebrate.

To the average on-looker nothing major happened. But I know. And God knows. (And now you'll know I guess.. :)

My little boy is an over-comer.

It was a relaxing Sunday morning. We just finished eating breakfast and I was rinsing dishes for the dishwasher while Jonathan read to me out of a book called "Born to Run". Omega and Orion were in their rooms playing. Orion, distressed, came calmly walking up to me and said, "Mom, I'm having a hard time with Omega can you help me?"

Wait....did I just hear that right? Is this my little boy coming to me, just like I have been trying to train him to do, asking for help instead of angrily taking vengeance on his sister? Do you realize that was music to my ears? I have been trying to train them to say that FOR-EVER.  What usually happens is Omega comes to me wailing "Orion hit me!...." so then I have to do remedial work as well as train for prevention.

Usually I have them stand in the corner or sit on the couch to have some think time and calm down. After a while they either already know what to apologize for or I ask them questions to uncover some of the heart issues. They can't just say, "I'm sorry for hitting you, will you forgive me?" I help them to see that it was their covetousness or impatience that led to the hitting. They let a toy or an activity control their happiness and in effect worshiped it as an idol. (You would think that little kids wouldn't understand such heavy concepts but they do! To understand this concept more I highly recommend the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart") I help them see that they were not honoring the other person but instead just thinking of their own happiness instead of thinking also about the interest of others (Phil 2:4). So, they say, "I'm sorry for being selfish and not thinking about your happiness. It was wrong for me to hit you (or it was wrong for me to provoke you). Will you forgive me?" Then they give each other a hug and say "We love each other" until they are both giggling. I love watching this happen. It makes me happy every time.

Then I have them re-do the whole scenario two times. First, they role-play the scenario where they share and negotiate a good outcome for both of them. Then I have them role-play it again where if they can't come to a good negotiation one of them comes to me calmly and says, "I'm having a hard time with _____ will you help me?" (Instead of saying, "So-n-so isn't sharing! - tattling and being an accuser of the brethren - I have them take ownership of the situation by saying I'm having a hard time with so-n-so, will you help me." Occasionally Omega will come to me for help but thus far Orion hasn't gotten to that point until today. Explosions of passion have been something we've been training him out of since he was two. I praise God the episodes have become less frequent, less intense and the duration have become much shorter. Self-control is being gained much more quickly these days (so for you mothers who are reading this and have become discouraged with your little one, I share what Janice shared with me "keep bending the twig") . Patience and self-control are being put on and anger and hastiness of spirit are being put off. Staying consistent, self controlled myself and praying for him have been my weapons in this warfare!)

The following quote is one that often gets me choked up.

God requires parents, by self-control, by an example of solid character building, to disseminate light within the immediate circle of their own little flock. No trifling, common conversation is to be indulged. God looks into every secret thing of life. By some a constant battle is maintained for self-control. Daily they strive silently and prayerfully against harshness of speech and temper. These strivings may never be appreciated by human beings. They may get no praise from human lips for keeping back the hasty words which sought for utterance. The world will never see these conquests, and if it could, it would only despise the conquerors. But in heaven's record they are registered as overcomers. There is One who witnesses every secret combat and every silent victory, and He says, "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."  {Adventist Home, 443} 

I highly value affirmation. In my past it has been a main motivator for whatever I did or didn't do. But now, I seek to please God (Gal 1:10). But, it's hard sometimes to hear God's affirmation. Sometimes the only thing I ever seem to hear is "You're a sinner. Your best is filth. You can't do anything without me. I love you though." Hmm....that takes some getting used to when you thrive on affirmation. This quote reminds me that though I may never receive praise from man, God sees my life differently and in heaven He thinks very highly of me and I'm a winner :)

My little boy is a winner too. God registered him today as a mighty conqueror.