Yesterday Orion hit Omega. We bought some clay so they can make furniture for their people houses (we are going to bake them and paint them!) and Orion was going to do something with it and Omega wanted to show him something. She kept following him around trying to get the box and saying, "Let me show you something, let me show you something." He felt like he already knew everything and didn't want to be instructed or slowed down by his sister so he wouldn't give it to her. Finally, annoyed at her trying to control him he hit her.
We have a no hitting policy (including no pinching, slapping, clawing, biting, punching, kicking, etc - and yes....we had to clarify that each hurtful action counted in the category of "hitting" because my daughter is very much like my husband and wants accurate definitions. Precision and specifics are very important. As you can imagine we had an incident where she pinched him and then said, "but you never said pinching would get a consequence!" Lol.
So anyway, as I was talking to Orion about his impulse to hit her I said, "The only time you are allowed to hit is when you are in danger. If there's a bad guy and he's hurting someone else like an old lady or a kid or even you, you have my permission to punch him really hard, and then bite him, pull out his hair, kick him and scream really loud. Will you do that then? It's really important in those situations to use your anger to fight enemies." I paused to watch him try to conceal a smile. "But Omega is not an enemy. Was your life in danger when she was following you around?"
When we were driving to town the road was blocked due to a cyclist getting hit. Auberry road is a very popular road for bikers. Thankfully, the person was still alive and from what we could tell, all would be well in the end. The kids started talking about career paths and Orion said, "I know I don't want to be a fireman or a soldier." I asked him why and he said, "Because they might die. And, firemen have to wear like 60 lbs of gear!" I said, "Yep, you certainly can't be a wimp if you are a fireman!" Though he says he doesn't want to do anything dangerous and heroic, his play fantasies say otherwise...
I'm eager to begin reading more stories of courage and adventure with my kids. I want them to truly believe there's honor in self-sacrirfice. Ever since they were little they've been very adamant about self-preservation. If we watched a documentary about volcanoes, earthquakes, or hurricanes they'd say, "I never want to live there!"If we watched a documentary about poisonous creatures they'd say the same thing. They'd play games like, "Would you rather be a chicken or a snake." And they'd answer, "A snake because people eat chickens and then I'd die!" Of course they are kids and their minds are very selfish and hopefully with maturity they will begin to develop more compassion and a sense of honor. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they are cautious and are recognizing cause and effect relationships. I don't want them to put themselves in a needlessly dangerous situation, so I'm glad they are evaluating situations with safety being one of the criteria.
For 4H we are doing a sewing project. They are learning to sew pillows cases. They can either keep the pillow case or give it to a child in a children's hospital. They didn't even debate the options. They wanted one for themselves. Sigh. But we did buy a pattern for making bears for the purpose of making them for others! Hopefully we can get it together in time for Christmas gifts!
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