Turning on the "wee-wees"

Well, my daughter already knows what she wants to be when she grows up. An am-blue-yence driver. I keep telling her it's am-bu-lance but she likes her way of saying it better. Several weeks ago after church potluck we drove out to the main road and just to the right was a totaled car. "That's Rich and Eileen's car!" we recognized immediately. After a quick survey we saw them safely inside Janice and Byron's car being checked out by the paramedics. Ironically they were HIT by an ambulance driver. They were turning left into their mobile home park (just a mile from the church parking lot) and the ambulance driver behind them apparently looked down to turn his lights on while beginning to pass them on the left and T'd them just as they were turning. Reports say he must have been going at least 60 miles an hour. Thankfully they had guardian angels and they were driving a Subaru (well known for their safety) so after spending a night in the hospital, all they had were bruises and Rich needed some staples on top of his head.

We stayed there and watched the whole procedure. The kids absorbed everything. They stared intently while they strapped Rich onto the stretcher and slid him into the back of the ambulance vehicle (the one that hit them got the front right tire completely knocked off so it was on the side of the road.) Another one came to take care of things. They loved watching the tow truck driver lift the messed up car onto the back of his truck bed. They saw how Eileen had tubes in her nose to give her oxygen. All of this they took mental note of so they could act it out later. 

 I've told the kids time and time again that we put our seat belts on so that if we ever get into an accident, we would be more safe. We've driven by accidents before and we've said a prayer for those involved but this experience really left an impression upon them and now they are independently safety conscious.

They drew pictures for Rich and Eileen and we bought some flowers to take to them. It helped the kids see that it is our responsibility as Christians to find ways of providing comfort and support to people who have gone through something hard or discouraging. Orion was especially pleased with Eileen's response to his picture. He got some white paper and scribbled with a black marker. He gave it to her and said, "This is your car". Her face lit up and enthusiastically agreed, "This is EXACTLY what my car looks light! You are a fabulous artist! You drew it perfectly!" She held it to her chest as a type of souvenir of the experience. They really loved their car and had no idea what they were going to do without a vehicle. (So as it turned out, they had a friend who they had studied the Bible with off and on and he bought a $5,500 newer model Subaru with less mileage for them as a gift! The Lord provides, can I hear an amen?!)

This is the right side of the ambulance that hit them

So, for the last several weeks I've heard siren noises in our house as they rush to get to an accident so they can help people. They turn their "wee-wee's" on as they run around the house going "weee----weeee----weee----weeee" (sounding like sirens). As we drove into town one day Omega said to me "Mom, when I grow up I'm going to buy an ambulance." I tried to explain to her that she couldn't just buy it, she had to work for an ambulance company and go to EMT school. Her dream hasn't faded one bit and it's been more than a month later. The other day she said, "Mom, when I go to church I'm only going to bring my Bible and my water bottle because if someone calls and I have to leave quickly I don't want to take a long time gathering up all my stuff." I was pretty impressed with her forethought. She really wants to save lives!

The experience provided a great teaching moment regarding Sabbath observance too. As we stood there Orion judgmentally declared with a haughty voice intonation, "Mom, they are working on the Sabbath!" I gently reminded him that Jesus healed on the Sabbath and refreshed his memory with a Scripture song we had previously memorized "It is lawful to do well on the Sabbath day." It was neat to see the truth of that verse sink, his countenance softening as I asked, "If we had gotten into an accident today, wouldn't you want people to be available to help us?"

As Paul Tripp points out, we don't live life based on the bare facts, but upon our interpretation of those facts. It's neat to see their wheels turning and be able to help them interpret life through Scriptural lenses and to see them forming their own values and identity upon that platform.

Better than the mighty

Something HUGE just happened. Something noteworthy. I almost want to throw a party and celebrate.

To the average on-looker nothing major happened. But I know. And God knows. (And now you'll know I guess.. :)

My little boy is an over-comer.

It was a relaxing Sunday morning. We just finished eating breakfast and I was rinsing dishes for the dishwasher while Jonathan read to me out of a book called "Born to Run". Omega and Orion were in their rooms playing. Orion, distressed, came calmly walking up to me and said, "Mom, I'm having a hard time with Omega can you help me?"

Wait....did I just hear that right? Is this my little boy coming to me, just like I have been trying to train him to do, asking for help instead of angrily taking vengeance on his sister? Do you realize that was music to my ears? I have been trying to train them to say that FOR-EVER.  What usually happens is Omega comes to me wailing "Orion hit me!...." so then I have to do remedial work as well as train for prevention.

Usually I have them stand in the corner or sit on the couch to have some think time and calm down. After a while they either already know what to apologize for or I ask them questions to uncover some of the heart issues. They can't just say, "I'm sorry for hitting you, will you forgive me?" I help them to see that it was their covetousness or impatience that led to the hitting. They let a toy or an activity control their happiness and in effect worshiped it as an idol. (You would think that little kids wouldn't understand such heavy concepts but they do! To understand this concept more I highly recommend the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart") I help them see that they were not honoring the other person but instead just thinking of their own happiness instead of thinking also about the interest of others (Phil 2:4). So, they say, "I'm sorry for being selfish and not thinking about your happiness. It was wrong for me to hit you (or it was wrong for me to provoke you). Will you forgive me?" Then they give each other a hug and say "We love each other" until they are both giggling. I love watching this happen. It makes me happy every time.

Then I have them re-do the whole scenario two times. First, they role-play the scenario where they share and negotiate a good outcome for both of them. Then I have them role-play it again where if they can't come to a good negotiation one of them comes to me calmly and says, "I'm having a hard time with _____ will you help me?" (Instead of saying, "So-n-so isn't sharing! - tattling and being an accuser of the brethren - I have them take ownership of the situation by saying I'm having a hard time with so-n-so, will you help me." Occasionally Omega will come to me for help but thus far Orion hasn't gotten to that point until today. Explosions of passion have been something we've been training him out of since he was two. I praise God the episodes have become less frequent, less intense and the duration have become much shorter. Self-control is being gained much more quickly these days (so for you mothers who are reading this and have become discouraged with your little one, I share what Janice shared with me "keep bending the twig") . Patience and self-control are being put on and anger and hastiness of spirit are being put off. Staying consistent, self controlled myself and praying for him have been my weapons in this warfare!)

The following quote is one that often gets me choked up.

God requires parents, by self-control, by an example of solid character building, to disseminate light within the immediate circle of their own little flock. No trifling, common conversation is to be indulged. God looks into every secret thing of life. By some a constant battle is maintained for self-control. Daily they strive silently and prayerfully against harshness of speech and temper. These strivings may never be appreciated by human beings. They may get no praise from human lips for keeping back the hasty words which sought for utterance. The world will never see these conquests, and if it could, it would only despise the conquerors. But in heaven's record they are registered as overcomers. There is One who witnesses every secret combat and every silent victory, and He says, "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."  {Adventist Home, 443} 

I highly value affirmation. In my past it has been a main motivator for whatever I did or didn't do. But now, I seek to please God (Gal 1:10). But, it's hard sometimes to hear God's affirmation. Sometimes the only thing I ever seem to hear is "You're a sinner. Your best is filth. You can't do anything without me. I love you though." Hmm....that takes some getting used to when you thrive on affirmation. This quote reminds me that though I may never receive praise from man, God sees my life differently and in heaven He thinks very highly of me and I'm a winner :)

My little boy is a winner too. God registered him today as a mighty conqueror. 

Silly

When I was young I can remember being really silly with my friend Juanita. We'd make up dumb words or phrases. We had a code language even where we'd put "sm" before every word (ie: smoo smou, smant smoo smow smith sme smoo sma smings?" = do you want to go with me to the swings?). We used to pretend we were on a deserted island while we both ate half a cantaloup with a spoon. We'd door-bell-ditch. We'd go romping in mud puddles after it rained. We'd dress up in bizarre outfits and do our hair crazy and let our imaginations take us wherever we wanted. We had pillow fights. We'd prank call people. We'd build forts out of blankets.

I've realized being a mom that I've completely lost my imagination. I have to really force myself to be silly for more than two minutes. I just don't know how to be really goofy. The things I used to find funny....I just don't find funny anymore. Some people might say "I've matured"..."I put away childish things."....

The problem is that my kids eat and breathe goofy. They thrive on silliness. From the time they wake up to the time they go to sleep they find a thousand things to laugh about. They are non-stop giggles and imagination. I want to be "one of them" but I don't know how. Omega invites me all the time, "Mom, do you want to play with us?" "Sure" I say, but then I don't know what to do. When I do try to make something up they tell me I should be doing something else. So, I default to just being the photographer.

I saw this picture on facebook and it was a good reminder to treasure each age and stage and moment of my children's life. They, like me, will grow up and won't be able to remember how silly and cute they were. They will forget how they said certain words and what kind of faces they made. But I don't want to forget. 

 So, here are some moments where I didn't know how to join them in their fun so I just took pictures :)

Omega got the courage to get her face wet in the bathtub and do funny things with her hair.

If I could put Orion in gymnastics I would. This kid always wants to be doing flips or crawling like an animal or posing like a stink-bug.

They got "married" (see Orion in his suit pants and Omega in her "wedding dress") I guess doing flips is part of the celebration process :)

I had these mesh bags in the truck to dry my sunflowers and the kids turned them into an opportunity to make their faces distorted so they could laugh at each other.

I'm driving along, coming back from the farm and I look over and think to myself, "my kids are hilarious. They look so retarded right now."

They put all the pillows and stuffed animals under the kitchen table and camped out there for a while.

In the bathtub Omega did Orion's hair and I got them to squish their cheeks together for a quick snap. Of course they have to make growling faces as if they are animals showing their teeth... ;)

Jesus said, "Unless ye be converted and become as little children ye shall not enter in to the kingdom of heaven." I'm starting to think that heaven will be this much fun because everyone will love each other and delight in the simple pleasures and not be so stressed out that they can't find the energy or the creativity to play.

The Birds and the Bees

Last night I flopped down on Omega's bed, waiting for her to finish changing into her pajamas, brushing her teeth and going to the bathroom. 

 So, when she was ready she came and laid on top of me as if I were going to give her a piggy back ride only we're laying flat. Then she said something I wasn't quite ready for. She said, "Mommy, is this how Daddies fertilize Mommies?"
"Uh oh." I thought to myself, "Here it comes. The sex talk every parent dreads. And she's only 6!"
"No, not quite" I say.
"How do they fertilize then?" She asks, wanting an explanation.
I decide to refer to management. "Go ask Daddy" I say. So she goes to Daddy's office and asks him. He says, "Just like bees!"
"How do bees do it?"
"I'll tell you later."
She comes back into the room and repeats everything Daddy just said.
"I want youuuuuuu to tell me." She begged.
"I know! Let's play the guessing game! I'm thinking of something and you have to guess what it is." She fell for it. I successfully distracted her inquisitive mind toward other things.

I knew it would come some day. I just wasn't prepared for it to come last night! I knew information was accumulating in her brain and the puzzle pieces were coming together, but I wasn't comfortable yet giving her the fuller picture.

Having a garden has been helpful. The word fertilizer is common vocabulary in our home. Every year they help spread rock powder fertilizer on each bed. They understand that it gives nutrition to the soil so the plants grow better. Then about a month ago they helped me shake the corn and watched the pollen fall onto the tassles below. I explained that we were fertilizing the corn. The pollen that fell onto the tassels helped the corn to grow inside the husks. So the Daddy corn fertilized the mommy corn and it grew baby corn.

One time we went to say hi to the cows and Omega said, "I think that's a mommy one...but it's nurse spots (udders) look different." So I had to break it to her.
"Actually that one is a boy." I explained.
"What are those dangly things then?" She wondered.
"Well, those hold fertilizer to fertilize the mommy cows so they can have babies."
"Oh"
Then she turned excitedly to Orion and said, "Orion, there's fertilizer in there!"
I just smiled at their excitement in learning something new.

Then we got roosters for our chickens. Poor hens. They literally get raped several times a day. No courtship, no "look how handsome I am, ya wanna get together?" Nope. The hens practically run for dear life trying to get away and then the rooster jumps on top of them, nips their neck with his beak and bangs away for a couple of seconds and then gets off. The hen then tries to "shake it off" and runs away again. When it's monsoon season she walks away with mud caked to her chest and muddy foot prints on her back. One of our chickens was injured for two months and we kept it on our back porch. Once it was well enough to let out the poor thing got raped like 7 times in a matter of 2 minutes. The kids tried to rescue it a bunch. They felt sorry for her. The kids say that he was "roosting her."

 Then the kids saw grasshoppers on top of each other and they realized, "Oh, the daddy is fertilizing the mommy." Hence, their conclusion that human mommies and daddies do the same. 


Last Friday we watched a video about the human body and of course they had to put a snippet in about reproduction. They showed how sperm swims into an egg and grows into a baby. Omega was sitting next to me and asks, "Mommy, what are those?"
I said, "They're like tadpoles that have to fertilize the mommy's egg so it can become a baby." That seemed to suffice her curiosity. (We have tadpoles that are growing into frogs currently in their little kiddie pool so the whole tadpole thing was very familiar to them right now).

So all of these together led up to the grand finale question she asked last night. I felt like it was just the other day that I was listening to "Let the Children Come Along the Innocent Way" and reading "Reflections of Moral Innocence: Learning to Communicate Sexual Knowledge with Dignity." By Gary and Anne Ezzo. I guess time has flown! Before I know it they'll be asking me about birth control!

We finally got to go swimming

I had great dreams this summer to take my kids swimming every Friday at Joni and Jerrie's house. When I was little, swimming was the essence of summer. I had planned to do all my Sabbath cooking on Thursday and divvy out the other chores throughout the week so that all I'd have to do on Friday is tidy up and clean the bathroom. That would leave all afternoon to go swimming and be relaxed when Sabbath came. We had repeated disappointment when it would either be too windy, rainy, the pump for our garden was acting wierd and I had to figure it out, I couldn't get everything done on time, etc. Finally one day Jonie called me and said, "Hope, it is such a beautiful day, the pool is clean and I wish I could enjoy it but since I'm working I'd love it if you could enjoy it with your kids for me!" (She is such a sweet lady)!" I decided we MUST make it happen. So we did. 

On our way, we got some fringe benefits! There was a turtle crossing the road so we stopped to look at it. As we did, we also saw some huge caterpillars.

  The kids are getting more and more comfortable with the idea of swimming. They practice in the bathtub putting their heads under water.

 On their property are some mature mesquite trees. The pods had dried so we helped ourselves to them to be ground later into flour for some yummy mesquite tortillas. 

We came back feeling very refreshed.

My little piggies

When I was little I always wanted to live on a farm or work at the zoo. I adored animals. In fact, I think that was the reason I became a vegetarian at age 8. My sister told me I was making my stomach a cemetery for dead animals. So, at our third grade end of the year party when all the teacher ordered was pepperoni pizza, I picked them all off to follow through with my new decision.

So here I am now, with my own pigs, wallowing in the mud :)

Omega says "Mom, I have a beard!"

I didn't know I'd also have pet frogs! Monsoon season is the best. 

There is nothing impure in clean sand and dry earth (Child Guidance 107) 

What meal-time is like ages 4 and 6

I like to consider myself a parent who trains her children well...but if there's one area I think I'm slack on it's table manners. I just can't bring myself to interrupt their active imagination during meal-time. It's like food brings a whole new world of pretend possibilities and I marvel at their creativity. Okay, I admit...sometimes it's over the top and I've gotta say, "that's enough." But still, it's pretty impressive what they come up with. I just figure it's not a moral issue. When they are 20 I doubt they'll still be acting like a lion ripping into an apple pretending it's a zebra. I don't buy the whole "they'll grow out of it" when they are throwing fits as toddlers because self control is a character issue and I've seen plenty of grown ups throwing fits. That must be nipped in the bud and trained. But pretending while eating? I'm sure it's a phase ;) (I do believe that being courteous and thankful ARE character issues and we do enforce behaviors that reflect those attitudes like not whining, asking nicely, saying thank you, not complaining, praying before you eat, etc.)

I mean, in India it's customary to use your hands to eat and in Japan it's polite to slurp your soup. I did not get brought up doing the whole "fork in left hand with knife in right and you scoop your food onto the back of your fork and put it daintily in your mouth." Although I'm part English, Brittish manners were far from the norm in our house. When I got married I marveled at how my husband could eat a taco without salsa juice dripping all over his hands. I purposely did not serve Italian food at my wedding because I just knew I'd get spaghetti sauce on my dress. So...okay, maybe I just proved myself wrong. Maybe you don't outgrow bad table manners...hmmm.....anyway - here are some things I'd like to remember about my kids childhood regarding meal-time.

Just for the record, we do have basic eating rules:

1. We have set times of eating and we don't snack. To me this is a health issue - it gives the digestive organs time to rest and ensures a healthy appetite when mealtime comes.
2. They must stay at the table until they are done.We don't eat at other parts of the house unless it's Friday night and we watch a nature video on the projector in the living room. 
3. When they're done they say, "Mom, thank you for the food may I get down please?"
4.  They must eat what I've given them or else they eat it at the next meal or they don't get dessert if we are having it. If they say they don't like something I respond by saying, "That's fine. You don't have to like it. You just have to eat it."
5. They can't get another serving of something they like before eating the thing they don't like. So, it motivates them to eat what they don't like.
6. If they play too much I set the timer and they have to finish before the timer goes off or else it gets put away and they eat it later.
7. They must ask politely for things to be passed to them instead of reaching over to get something. Ex: "May you pass the honey please?" (Often when David asks for something Omega will say, "Jump-fly-jump-land" and make it fly over to him. Orion will make it walk really slowly...that can be a bit annoying...)

So, breakfast is the most lenient for them because they usually eat by themselves. I wake up at 5:00 to get breakfast for the guys (David, Jonathan and Julian). They eat by 5:15 and leave by 5:45. While they are eating I exercise. Then when they leave I have devotions and usually eat at 7:00 ish. The kids usually wake up around 7:30 so by then I'm done. Lunch and supper we eat together so they don't have as much freedom to play and be silly. So these pictures are mostly breakfast time.

We had cornbread and beans for breakfast and Orion crumbled his cornbread up and wanted to be a cow.

The good thing about this is that if they make a mess they clean it up. At least it helps them learn how to be responsible for their messes.

The guys brought home a bunch of carrots from the farm so for a week or so Orion always wanted to pretend he was a horse and let Omega feed him.  Did you know that Ethiopia has a tradition called “gursha” and involves people feeding each other with their hands? The host normally starts by feeding their neighbor and then proceeds to feed everyone else in the circle. Once they are finished the next person in the circle does the same and so on and so on.) I guess my kids may be missionaries to Ethiopia one day! They'd fit right in :)

Monkey see, monkey do. Often since I'm done eating I'll sit at the table and do something brainless like check facebook or Pinterest while they eat. David often likes to check the news at supper or check the weather at lunch and so it's not uncommon for them to see laptops at the table. They of course want to follow suite so they have their "laptops" that they are studying on while they eat.

Other odd eating habits:

Omega likes to eat frozen bread. I buy 8 loaves a week because that's what we have every evening for supper: Toast and fruit. We like to eat something light so that we don't go to sleep with heavy food in our stomach. Sometimes I forget to transfer bread from the freezer to the fridge in time for it to be thawed by supper. It doesn’t matter to the rest of us because we usually toast it anyway. But, Omega likes it frozen. Weird girl.   

It is not uncommon for Orion to suddenly get inspired to be an animal and put his food on his chair and get on his hands and knees and eat it with his mouth. Or, if I haven’t shut the curtains yet, he will stand up and start dancing or doing funny things in the reflection of the window. Orion also loves bananas and Omega loves oranges. I think they could eat toast and fruit for every meal and be as happy as monkeys in the rainforest. This one is not that quirky. I’m sure most kids wouldn’t mind that kind of diet. But seriously, they can eat A LOT of bread and fruit.

I soaked buckwheat and then dehydrated it. It made it like rice Krispies. I put it in yogurt and the kids really liked it.

I think another mealtime quirk is that they "have" to have their water bottle. They hardly ever drink it, but it's really comforting to know that their water bottle is right where they are.

And finally, here is food for thought regarding etiquette. 

       There is danger of placing too high a value upon mere manner and form, and devoting too much time to education in these lines...Many who lay great stress upon etiquette show little respect for anything, however excellent, that fails of meeting their artificial standard. This is false education. It fosters critical pride and narrow exclusiveness. 
     The essence of true politeness is consideration for others. The essential, enduring education is that which broadens the sympathies and encourages universal kindliness.  {Education, 241}